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You know what sucks? Meeting people you could probably become good friends with, getting just well enough acquainted to be aware of this, and then drifting in opposite directions and never seeing each other again. It's so much worse than just knowing there are people out there you could become good friends with who you'll never end up meeting at all. Nothing is more agonizing than a near miss.

This afternoon I passed by a guy who was whistling Auld Lang Syne. Dunno why.

And apparently there is still absolutely nothing short of a ponytail that will keep my hair behind my shoulders. I thought, years ago, that growing it longer would do the trick, but the problem seems to be that it's grown thicker as it's grown longer.
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Ever wanted to test that conjecture about monkeys producing the works of Shakespeare? Thanks to the wonder of the Internet, you can now put your very own troop of simulated monkeys to work. Watch as they type away furiously, generating thousands of pages in which can be found up to 18 characters at a time of genuine simulated Bard-product. More than 20 and you get your name in lights...kinda like finding extraterrestrial life, only not.
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I seem to have developed a considerable amount of skill at finding explanations of really obscure points of grammar by way of Google. (In this case, I knew "whom have I become" sounded wrong in the same way that "whom am I" does, and wouldn't rest till I'd proved they were indeed governed by the same principle.)

This won't fit in the "current music" field, but [livejournal.com profile] saizai is currently playing rap songs with opera samples in. Pretty nifty, but it'd be nice if the rap had less goofy lyrics than "power over money, money over power, power over money...beeyatch."
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Note to self: Oakland Zoo + hot summer day = very good chance of heat exhaustion. Symptoms liable to last several times as long as time spent in sun.

If not for that, might have gotten to see more of zoo. Did, however, get to see the important parts, i.e. the large kitties. Mmmmmmmmmm, kitties. Also discovered that elk make really weird sounds. Had not realized, however, that giraffes' natural habitat consisted mostly of sand and palm trees.
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I've just gone back and privatized (because I hate to delete things completely) a handful or two of old entries that were time-dependent and wouldn't be of any interest to anyone reading them now (they were mostly along the lines of "can anyone give me a ride to X tonight?"). I'm announcing this in case anybody feels the need to protest and demand them back. Somehow I doubt anyone will.
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I was just going back over some old entries and discovered that one of them, which I'm certain got two or three comments when I posted it, now has none. I don't think it's at all likely that the people who posted them went to the trouble of going back and deleting them way after the fact; they were innocuous comments to an innocuous entry, and besides, I seem to recall replying to at least one of them--if the comment I replied to had been deleted by the poster, my reply should still be there. And it doesn't make any more sense to think that someone would hack into my account just to delete all the comments on a random and not very noteworthy entry and leave everything else, including the entry itself and the surrounding ones, alone.

So, I seem to be facing a very weird LJ glitch. I wonder if I should alert TPTB. I'm always reluctant to go to the authorities about something like this--after all, it's not like I've lost anything really important, right?...and the folks running this site already have plenty to do. But then again, data loss of any kind is disturbing and should be looked into on principle, ne?
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Ceci n'est pas un meme.

(Because I just couldn't let that statement remain true, [livejournal.com profile] ailurodragon.)
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Does anyone out there have a) a sewing machine, b) a vacuum cleaner, or c) a stud finder available to lend out--preferably long-term in the first two cases?
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The bad news is, apparently folks like the San Jose Mercury News either don't pay attention to the national Do Not Call list or just haven't got an updated copy of same.

The good news is, the words "We're on the Do Not Call list" are like magic. No arguments, no complaints, they just say goodbye and hang up. Makes me wonder if just saying that would work equally well even if it weren't true.
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I appear to be coming down with a cold. This is rather a sucky time for that to happen, but then no time's really a good time. I'd just hoped, after suffering through five of these in the last year, that perhaps moving out of the Large Fluffy Dog-infested house would help my immune system to rally a bit. Now I can only hope that it's going to and just hasn't yet.

But hey, maybe this is why the monstrous fatigue all week. If so, then I suppose I can be glad it won't continue.
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Ki began frequently and rather vigorously attacking my knees and ankles a couple of days ago; some firm discipline by [livejournal.com profile] saizai seems to have broken him of this, but now he's instead taken to dashing about the apartment like a cat possessed. Not that he never does this usually, but he doesn't usually do it constantly. He's also yowling even more than usual, and running along beside me almost every time I walk somewhere. I wish I knew what the hell he wants. I'd think attention, but he never sits still to be petted for more than a few seconds.

Hell, he may simply have worse ADD than I do. I can only hope he's not a preview of my future offspring.
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"This enables even young users to swing independently and joyously, which is of great benefit to all."

Somebody, apparently, has gone and patented a different way of swinging on a swing. A more entertaining way, he claims; I've tried it (as really, who hasn't) and I have to disagree. But it appears just about anything can indeed be patented these days.

On the other hand, this discovery, I'm pleased to say, came on the heels of one of those hours-long college-dorm-type conversations (in this case, about hypothetical ramifications of various kinds of limited time travel) that I haven't had in way too long--so yay for that.
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Grrr. I have leftovers in the fridge that I really need to eat soon, but they're a full meal's worth of leftovers. Right now I'm hungry enough that it's contributing to my distraction level, but not hungry enough to consume a full meal, especially in this damn heat (which is not helping the productivity either). But if I eat something smaller now, I may not have room for the leftovers later.

I hate the way my body works sometimes.

No, that's an understatement. There's almost no time when I'm not hating something about it.
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Apparently that bike horn that I've been hearing across the street most afternoons doesn't belong to a small child as I'd assumed, but to a guy walking down the street with a shopping cart that has bags of something orange hanging from it. Presumably he's selling the orange stuff, and thus using the horn in an icecreamtruckish fashion (I have to say, I rather prefer even crappy music to this more distracting honking), but from this distance I can't figure out what on earth it might be. Cheesy popcorn, maybe? It's the right size but the wrong color for cotton candy.
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I've got this whole day stretching ahead of me in which I ought to be able to Get Stuff Done, yet every time I contemplate embarking on a task that will take more than a couple of minutes to complete, or has multiple steps to it, I freak out and can't even make myself take the first step. I don't know if this is ADD or simply an offshoot of the depression I've had to admit has been reemerging lately, but either way it's pretty messed up and leaves me terribly frustrated.

I feel like I may just fly to pieces. That sounds more ADDish, really; the depression comes on when I let myself think about anything long-term. Like what the hell I'm going to be doing with my life in a few short months.

Either way, the stupid meds aren't doing anything except making me vaguely nauseous, and possibly worsening the arrhythmia.

I hate knowing that my life is better than it's ever been in a number of ways and yet still feeling that overall it sucks worse than ever. I've grown so much as a person--how can I possibly be at such a dead end when it comes to basic survival? Why can't I be good at the things that seem to matter in the Real World? And why do those things have to matter so damn much?

I'm oversimplifying. And I'm not specifying a lot of what's going on school-wise because I'm not ready to talk about it. So basically I'm just wanking here. Being a stereotypical self-indulgent LJer and shit. But then what is this medium for, right?

I shouldn't be so damn self-conscious anyway. I oughta shut the fuck up and just post this before I get off on the very tempting meta-tangent of analyzing why the hell this post is so much choppier than my normal writing style.
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My portable fan is not working. I have another one somewhere, but I have no idea where.

It is going to be a miserably hot night. As if I weren't sleeping badly anyway.
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Funny how spending too short a time with someone can make you miss them even more than you did when you hadn't seen them at all for a while. Like you got used to their absence, until seeing them briefly reminded you that you'd rather have their presence.
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I had to stop about five questions into that Love Languages quiz everyone is doing, when I realized that the things I was putting a higher priority on were not so much the things I most value, but more the things I don't currently get as much of. Physical touch, for example, is important to me, but I've never really had to think about how important it is because I've hardly ever been involved with someone to whom it didn't seem to come naturally. Verbal affirmation, on the other hand, is something I get less than ideal amounts of (though that's probably due in part to the fact that most of my relationships are pretty ill-defined and thus tough to speak about), so I find myself choosing that as a higher priority because I'd like more of it than I generally get, but not because I'd like more of it than of physical contact.

Frankly, all five of the things listed are important to me, and I really can't say which is the most important. I'm not even sure it's right to pick one. I think in any serious relationship all five of those would have to be present in different amounts, and the amounts can't really be compared because they're on different scales. What matters is not whether I get more of love-expression A than of love-expression B, but whether I get enough of each.

Come to think of it, that's a bit like the way I approach poly. I don't care whether I see more of person A than person B; I care about whether I see each of them as often as I want to, and of course this goes for energy, emotional depth, and other such things as well as time. But it may appear sometimes that I care more about spending time with person A than person B, simply because I don't see person A as often as I'd like and do see person B as often as I'd like, and will thus generally prefer to spend time with A on the few occasions when I have to choose between them.


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September 2012

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