vvvexation: (Default)
From the [livejournal.com profile] altfriday5:

1. Which is the best birthday you've ever had? Why?
I've had some pretty good ones in recent years, but none of them really stand out in my mind. I've never made the effort to have a really spectacular birthday, because then I'd get disappointed if it was a teeny bit less spectacular than I planned. I'd rather just plan for it to be moderately fun, so I can easily be satisfied when it is.

Somehow I can't get that to not sound downbeat and cynical. *furrows brow*

2. Which is the worst birthday you've ever had? Why?
The one where my dad and stepmom had their million and oneth screaming fight, I guess. I remember being pretty upset about that, even though it wasn't one of the fights that involved me.

3. What do you expect to have happen on a typical birthday? (i.e., you expect to get presents, you expect people to wish you a happy birthday, you expect to have a party, etc.) How do you feel if these expectations are not met?
See above re: expectations and my general desire to keep them low. These days, I expect two or three of the people I'm close to to wish me a happy birthday, and on the rare occasions when I plan some kind of event I expect a handful of people to show up. If those expectations didn't get met, I'd feel pretty darn low, but it hasn't happened yet.

4. How did your family celebrate your birthday when you were a child?
We'd throw a typical kid-party to which I'd invite maybe a dozen kids from school, all but one or two of whom would fail to show up. I like to think this was because my birthday was in the middle of summer and simply got forgotten about between then and the end of the school year when I passed out the invitations, rather than because everyone thought I sucked or something, even though I'm aware that quite a few people did think I sucked.

5. You have infinite amounts of all resources. Describe your ideal birthday.
It's hard to picture what I'd do if I had infinite resources but just one day to use them; there'd be too many things I'd want to fit in and be unable to. If the question really is about what I would do if I had infinite resources all the time but wanted to make this one day extra special, that's still tricky to imagine because I don't tend to mark out special occasions in that way; if there was something really cool I wanted to do, I'd do it whenever I got around to it. I'd probably end up just marking my birthday by taking some friends out to dinner at a super-nice restaurant, or taking them on a cool day trip, or something. I'd have to make it very very clear that it was on me, though, given that the usual trend seems to be for everyone else to pay for the birthday kid instead of vice versa.
vvvexation: (Default)
Unbeknownst to many, there existed in the early days of the Internet a small cadre of computer-savvy castrati dwelling in southeastern Germany. BSD was their operating system of choice, and when they discovered an online bulletin board dedicated to the discussion of said operating system, they all attempted to join en masse. Unfortunately, they ran into trouble when it came time to select their user handles; although there were clearly posted rules explaining that usernames would be assigned according to a universal system, the German contingent demanded that they be allowed to choose their own, claiming that otherwise their individuality would be suppressed. The beleaguered system administrator, unable either to talk them out of or to comply with their request, was forced to simply reject their petitions for membership outright.

This would not in itself have been a particularly tragic story, were it not that the somewhat excitable would-be users in question interpreted this rejection (as, indeed, they tended to interpret any rejection) as a slur against their lost manhood; several of them, in fact, grew so incensed that they sought out the unfortunate sysadmin's home address, and before their fellows could stop them, they descended upon his home and shot the poor man dead.

When the shocking news of his demise reached the discussion boards he had administered, the users one and all were deeply saddened, but none of them were terribly surprised once the details of the story had come to light. After all, as one of them pointed out...

...when you nix Munich eunuchs' unique Unix nicks, Munich's Unix eunuchs nix you.


(crossposted to, illustrated by, and closing line derived in conjunction with [livejournal.com profile] saizai)
vvvexation: (Default)
Lesson of the day:

When you attempt to buy stamps from a post-office vending machine, and it takes your money and you make your selection and it makes a whirring noise and says THANK YOU but nothing actually drops into the little tray, you may be tempted to thump on the machine in case the stamps got stuck halfway down or something.

DO NOT DO THIS IF YOU VALUE YOUR EARDRUMS.

Evidently, the USPS takes potential vending-machine vandalism very seriously. As an institution, that is; the individual employees don't seem to take it seriously at all, judging from the truly impressive job they did of ignoring the EARSPLITTING ELECTRONIC SHRIEKS on this occasion. Then again, perhaps that was simply due to their knowledge that it would stop in a few minutes. I, having no such knowledge, was slightly more distressed--plus I wanted my eight bucks back, which evidently required me to stand in line at the counter just to get anyone's attention, and then fill out a form that asked for such things as my nine-digit ZIP code (who the hell knows the last four digits off the top of their head?) and the six-digit serial number of the machine (I looked, and the machine didn't have one. It did have a "#19" on it, so I wrote that down along with the name of the post office branch and hoped for the best.)

If I don't get my refund I am gonna be very upset. I might even vandalize a stamp machine for real next time.
vvvexation: (Default)
I just entered a name into my cell phone that consisted entirely of letters that were each the last letter on the corresponding number key, meaning that I had to press every single key three times. It's always mildly annoying when you have to press that many buttons to enter a word, but this struck me as a special case of maximized annoyance.

I quickly realized, though, that even greater annoyance could be achieved by spelling an even longer name with the same property. Unfortunately, I can't come up off the top of my head with any particularly long ones using the letters C, F, I, L, O, S, V, and Z.

Can anyone else?

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