Oh, that'd just be a shocking new level of deviousness. I'm sure I don't know what I'd do if things reached such a pitch as that.

Come to think of it, given that I've just generalized that all my boyfriends are devious as well as exaggeratedly decrepit, simply being devious in any way at all might suffice to perpetrate the same ruse. Oh dear. I've just left myself horribly vulnerable, haven't I?