Somewhat similar here: my parents valued politeness, but didn't raise me to "be polite" so much as to "be kind and considerate," and I still think most of what people call politeness (or at least most of what deserves to be called politeness) is just an extension of that. But then again, you get people who think you're both impolite and inconsiderate if you don't do what they want, instead of thinking that you might be trying to be considerate in a different way. Feh.