Unusual slackitude
Feb. 16th, 2004 09:15 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
vvvexationOrdinarily I'd be on my way to the Plough right about now, but after spending the day at home I don't feel much like shoving myself out the door somehow. The rain probably doesn't help; not only is it cold and wet outside, but my energy level is way down. Besides, if I stay home I might actually get a little more work done, and I might actually get to bed at a fairly reasonable hour and thus be able to get up in time for class tomorrow.
Yeah, I'll just keep telling myself that. Sheesh, it's not as though I have some kind of moral obligation to go out. It really is better from a practical standpoint that I don't. I just seem to get these ridiculous guilt feelings every time I pass up an opportunity to be social. I think it's a lingering reaction to the depression: I fear every time I don't do something to cheer myself up (whether or not I happen to need cheering up) that I will immediately become monstrously depressed, even though that hardly ever happens any more.
Then again, in this case a little bit of the guilt is probably justified, as I doubt I'll be nearly as productive sitting here as I ought to be and that makes me feel like I'm wasting a perfectly good bit of self-sacrifice. But I'll get to sleep earlier. Really I will. And that is important. I just need to remember that.
Yeah, I'll just keep telling myself that. Sheesh, it's not as though I have some kind of moral obligation to go out. It really is better from a practical standpoint that I don't. I just seem to get these ridiculous guilt feelings every time I pass up an opportunity to be social. I think it's a lingering reaction to the depression: I fear every time I don't do something to cheer myself up (whether or not I happen to need cheering up) that I will immediately become monstrously depressed, even though that hardly ever happens any more.
Then again, in this case a little bit of the guilt is probably justified, as I doubt I'll be nearly as productive sitting here as I ought to be and that makes me feel like I'm wasting a perfectly good bit of self-sacrifice. But I'll get to sleep earlier. Really I will. And that is important. I just need to remember that.
