Anthropomorphism is fun

vvvexation: NO! *commits hara-kiri*
uncledark: Unfortunately, hara-kiri is afraid of commitment.
vvvexation: That's why you club it over the head first.
uncledark: Ooh, feeling toppy, are we?
vvvexation: *drags hara-kiri by hair to cave*
uncledark: *hara-kiri screams innefectually*
vvvexation: dammit, the clubbing was supposed to take care of that
uncledark: How is taking hara-kiri dancing going to stop it from screaming?
vvvexation: It's not supposed to scream if it's having fun dancing! Especially after I bought it that expensive dinner.
uncledark: Maybe it's a scream of pleasure?
vvvexation: It's a little premature for that. Has someone been groping it on the dance floor?
uncledark: It was dancing awfully close to Hemlock, there...
vvvexation: The slut! What can Hemlock do for it that I can't?