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Contained thrills
Oct. 16th, 2007 01:35 pmSomething like three times in the last week, I've dreamed about meeting cute guys and flirting madly with them. Time was, I would've found this enjoyable but frustrating, but right now I'm simply enjoying it.
The thing is, I really love meeting new people and feeling that zing of mutual attraction, but 1) that doesn't happen to me these days as often as it used to and 2) more to the point, when it does happen I don't feel the desire to follow up on it as often as I used to. As I commented elsejournal recently, I get pickier and pickier over time as to what constitutes "enough attraction to follow up on," both because I've gotten better at spotting signs that it just wouldn't work out, and because I've gotten just a little bit complacent in my current relationships--not nearly enough to not want any other ones, but enough to not feel as much like I need other ones, and so not driven to seek them out quite as hard.
As a result, when I dream about flirting with hot new people these days, rather than feeling frustrated when I wake up because the flirting isn't going to lead to anything in real life, I'm more inclined to just enjoy it for its own sake. In some ways it's even more fun when I can enjoy the flirting without having to be nervous about what comes next.
It's nice when a mitigated pleasure becomes an unmitigated one.
The thing is, I really love meeting new people and feeling that zing of mutual attraction, but 1) that doesn't happen to me these days as often as it used to and 2) more to the point, when it does happen I don't feel the desire to follow up on it as often as I used to. As I commented elsejournal recently, I get pickier and pickier over time as to what constitutes "enough attraction to follow up on," both because I've gotten better at spotting signs that it just wouldn't work out, and because I've gotten just a little bit complacent in my current relationships--not nearly enough to not want any other ones, but enough to not feel as much like I need other ones, and so not driven to seek them out quite as hard.
As a result, when I dream about flirting with hot new people these days, rather than feeling frustrated when I wake up because the flirting isn't going to lead to anything in real life, I'm more inclined to just enjoy it for its own sake. In some ways it's even more fun when I can enjoy the flirting without having to be nervous about what comes next.
It's nice when a mitigated pleasure becomes an unmitigated one.
