Vainglorious Vicissitudes

I posted it in a locked thread that I can't really relate the details of. :) But the background is something like this: there are a lot of guys who complain that Chicks Never Date Nice Guys!, and use this as an excuse to trash women and make themselves feel better. (This is distinct from the class of ACTUALLY nice guys who can't get dates despite having broad selection criteria, etc.) I think that part of the problem is exactly what you describe -- they have no objectivity about their own desires, and they don't realize that they're unconsciously excluding nice girls. But there is a particularly poisonous breed of guy who complains this complaint, and what they mean is something like "Oh, come on, baby! I'd let you choose where we go to dinner! That makes me a nice guy! Why won't you fucking date ME, huh?" when what these guys are lacking is (a) a backbone and (b) manners and friendliness.

Sorry if that was incoherent. It's been a long day, already. But I think what I was getting at is something between what uncledark said above and what vito_excalibur said -- "nice" gets conflated with "non-assertive", and "nice guys" should never be allowed to self-define. :)