Ding! Ding! That *is* it, IMHO. There's a *big* difference in my mind between saying in a nice way "Gosh, I don't think I'd be comfortable wearing that brightly colored floral dress to the funeral" and saying buntly "You can't wear that." One is subtle and *allows the person a graceful exit*, while the other makes them wrong.
I also think the etiquette of response is not a cut-and-dried thing. I try to read into the person's intent: is she/he looking for reassurance/response/opinion or is this a "I saw the funniest thing today and I have to write it down." In addition, there's the IRL factor... I'm much more likely to comment when I know someone and I'm building a relationship (as opposed to a one-off), she said, whilst making a one-off commment
Etiquette, IMHO, is not about "rules" as much as it's about making someone else comfortable and, as much as humanly possible making things smoother between people. (There's a great Heinlein quote about that, but can't put my finger on it at the moment.)
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2005-08-25 09:28 pm (UTC)Ding! Ding! That *is* it, IMHO. There's a *big* difference in my mind between saying in a nice way "Gosh, I don't think I'd be comfortable wearing that brightly colored floral dress to the funeral" and saying buntly "You can't wear that." One is subtle and *allows the person a graceful exit*, while the other makes them wrong.
I also think the etiquette of response is not a cut-and-dried thing. I try to read into the person's intent: is she/he looking for reassurance/response/opinion or is this a "I saw the funniest thing today and I have to write it down." In addition, there's the IRL factor... I'm much more likely to comment when I know someone and I'm building a relationship (as opposed to a one-off), she said, whilst making a one-off commment
Etiquette, IMHO, is not about "rules" as much as it's about making someone else comfortable and, as much as humanly possible making things smoother between people. (There's a great Heinlein quote about that, but can't put my finger on it at the moment.)
My $.02, of course, YMMV.