A fable of the technological era

[vvvexation]

Unbeknownst to many, there existed in the early days of the Internet a small cadre of computer-savvy castrati dwelling in southeastern Germany. BSD was their operating system of choice, and when they discovered an online bulletin board dedicated to the discussion of said operating system, they all attempted to join en masse. Unfortunately, they ran into trouble when it came time to select their user handles; although there were clearly posted rules explaining that usernames would be assigned according to a universal system, the German contingent demanded that they be allowed to choose their own, claiming that otherwise their individuality would be suppressed. The beleaguered system administrator, unable either to talk them out of or to comply with their request, was forced to simply reject their petitions for membership outright.

This would not in itself have been a particularly tragic story, were it not that the somewhat excitable would-be users in question interpreted this rejection (as, indeed, they tended to interpret any rejection) as a slur against their lost manhood; several of them, in fact, grew so incensed that they sought out the unfortunate sysadmin's home address, and before their fellows could stop them, they descended upon his home and shot the poor man dead.

When the shocking news of his demise reached the discussion boards he had administered, the users one and all were deeply saddened, but none of them were terribly surprised once the details of the story had come to light. After all, as one of them pointed out...

...when you nix Munich eunuchs' unique Unix nicks, Munich's Unix eunuchs nix you.


(crossposted to, illustrated by, and closing line derived in conjunction with saizai)

Comments

[somebodyelse.livejournal.com]

I think I'm in love with you...

I hadn't had a good wordjoy all day, and you come along and fill my needs for a week.

:)

[somebodyelse.livejournal.com]

Though, really, shouldn't the eunuch's names be Hugh and Nick?

[vvvexation.livejournal.com]

We couldn't think of a good way to work in Nick. Admittedly we didn't think of Hugh, but I'm still not sure there's a good way to work that in.

[caesia.livejournal.com]

When Hugh nixed Munich eunuchs' unique Unix nicks, Munich's Unix eunuchs nixed Hugh?

I don't think it would add anything, though.

[vvvexation.livejournal.com]

Especially since that way it's not a Moral.

[gatopreto.livejournal.com]

cadre of computer-savvy castrati is a winning turn of phrase.

[vvvexation.livejournal.com]

That one phrase, as it happens, was the product of one of those felicitous moments when you don't even notice that you've just alliterated like mad (or whatever else interesting you've done) until several seconds later. All my best turns of phrase seem to be accidental ones; I just wish such accidents happened a little more often.

[gatopreto.livejournal.com]

Yes, it's like being ina zone or trance and the phrase or whatever comes from within without much conscious help. And, yes, I love that and wish I did it more often!

[tsgeisel.livejournal.com]

There's only one reason to use the word "unbeknownst" and it's to setup punchlines just like this one.

[vvvexation.livejournal.com]

*hangs head in shame*

[vvvexation.livejournal.com]

*only not really*

[saizai.livejournal.com]

THAT'S the word I was trying to think of earlier. Unbeknownst.

It's a middle-English conjugation. WTF is it doing staying around?

[vvvexation.livejournal.com]

'S'not like we don't have other ones sticking around as well.

[saizai.livejournal.com]

Yeah, but it's still weird. Is it productive?

[vvvexation.livejournal.com]

That's like asking if earlobes are productive. Who cares, they're fun to nibble on. ;-)

[saizai.livejournal.com]

That was "productive" in the formal sense. I.e., are there other things you can make with the same conjugation (-nst) that are in similar use, vs. this having calcified into a set word and lost its derivability.

[vvvexation.livejournal.com]

Oh. Well, I imagine not, but I can put the question to a linguist or two.

[(Anonymous)]

Well, not only is "-nst" not a currently productive form, it apparently never was!

http://www.etymonline.com/index.php?search=unbeknownst&searchmode=none

If anyone can think of ANY other words with this form, it would be interesting indeed (although my guess is that any words following this pattern would have been created through analogy to "unbeknownst" and therefore only appear after it was coined in the 19th century).

[hitchhiker.livejournal.com]

*dies dead of death*

[mshathvri.livejournal.com]

Meeee toooo.

[ubiquity.livejournal.com]

*giggle*

[corivax.livejournal.com]

Aaaaaaaaaaa! This is great!

[ravenslost.livejournal.com]

Love it!

[olego.livejournal.com]

*pounces you* That's AWESOME!

[kaidevis.livejournal.com]

Try saying that punchline five times fast.

(btw, I read it to darthsunshine and her sole response was "..... Ow.")

At the start I thought this was a real anecdote. Beautifully done.

*love*

[vvvexation.livejournal.com]

*loveback* I shall try to call you again when I have an evening to myself once more. Is your phone working?

[kaidevis.livejournal.com]

Not really. The speaker isn't working 80% of the time unless I thwack the phone hard, which makes it unhappy in other ways. If any cell company sold a decent "hardened" cell phone for both EM and abuse, I'd be there. On my list is to extract all my numbers/data from it this weekend (the screen is borderline dying too). Steph and I plan to combine our plans at which point I'll have a new phone, but it's not high on the priority list right now -- house hunt, first (the real reason I'm actually online at all today.) I'll email you numbers that will work for me in the interim.

*huggles* ttyl