Ovals of doom

[vvvexation]

I got a package o' medical shit I'd ordered today and found they'd thrown in a free sample of some fancy-ass multivitamin. How pointless is that? As an advertisement I suppose it works just as well as a leaflet without the free sample in it would, but there's certainly no benefit to be gained from including the sample unless their extra-spiffy new vitamin is actually potent enough to have noticeable health effects after only one dose.

I decided I'd take it anyway just to save me a day's worth of my usual multivitamin, but upon opening the package I was forcibly reminded of the reason my usual multivitamin is my usual multivitamin: most multivitamins besides my usual one come in pills THE SIZE OF NEW FRICKIN' ZEALAND.

The three such pills I so foolishly freed from their packaging sit now on my desk: speckled ellipsoids, vaguely resembling dinosaur eggs. The thought of attempting to force them down my throat, already slightly sore, fills me with a sort of horror, yet so does the thought of admitting defeat and simply throwing them away.

So they sit and silently mock me. I attempt to stare them down, but they show no fear; their countenance remains stoic, imperturbable.

This can't last. I predict that by nightfall, I will have thrown one or the other sort of caution to the winds, and either chucked them into the trash in a wanton display of profligacy, or challenged the fuckers head on and subjected myself to a long evening of painful gagging. Probably the latter, because I'm just that much of a masochist in all the most pointless of ways.

(Incidentally, the package also included a sample packet of hair-loss-reducing shampoo. I can't even begin to imagine the rationale for that. I did not order Rogaine from these folks.)

Comments

[vvvexation.livejournal.com]

Exciting, but a bit disconcerting to have to re-gear. I always worry that I won't remember and will go back to the way I thought it was. Plus, the way I thought it was usually seems more like the way it ought to be.

[adamchristopher.livejournal.com]

I was devastated when I found out a couple years ago that ironic didn't mean what I thought it meant. I LOVED that word and what I thought it meant. I swept the finding under the rug and have continued to use it in my own way. :)

[vvvexation.livejournal.com]

The way a lot of people use it, or do you have your own special nonstandard use of it?

[adamchristopher.livejournal.com]

I don't know. But actually yeah, it seems like a lot of people use it the same way I do or misuse it the same way I do, or at least seem to understand me when I'm misusing it. My dictionary says irony means: "1. the use of words to express the opposite of what one really means 2. incongruity between the actual result of a sequence of events and the expected result". But I always think of it like almost the opposite of that meaning. Like when one thing happens or is going on/being talked about, and then another thing happens, etc that is like the first thing. Bad example: you're on the bus talking with a friend (or someone you just met on the bus, whatever) about a book you both loved as children. Then a child gets on the bus holding that book, anmd it's like, "oh wow, how ironic". I think I always say ironic when two things are not opposite or incongruous but when they're reflective, like one thing echoes the other, or one predicts or is an omen of the other or whatever.

[vvvexation.livejournal.com]

Yeah, that's how most people use it--myself included, I have to admit, though I try not to.

[adamchristopher.livejournal.com]

ok, cool, so I'm not alone :)

[lintqueen.livejournal.com]

So my synchronicity equals your ironic! Bizarre!

[adamchristopher.livejournal.com]

Aah, well your synchronicity is exactly what my ironic should be, if ya know what I mean.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_duncan/]

and my "sarcasm" equals her dictionary's "irony".

[lintqueen.livejournal.com]

Are you being "ironic" ;-)