Another take on the "nice guy" conundrum

[vvvexation]

A comment (and addendum) I posted elsewhere--fortunately not a propos of anything in my life at the moment, but I've been chewing on it for a while:

Dan Savage had some scathing things to say once to a disabled guy who wrote in complaining that he couldn't get chicks--mainly because, as Dan pointed out, he was only looking for "hot" chicks and didn't seem to have considered dating disabled women for a moment. I've since been convinced that what all those guys who complain that women won't date them because they're "too nice" really mean is that beautiful, bitchy women won't date them. Maybe if they actually went looking for nice girls--and bothered to include shy girls, plain girls, and nerdy girls in that pool--they'd have better luck finding a few who genuinely like nice guys.

(Okay, so I have known some genuinely nice guys who can't seem to get dates. In fact, that description fits a fair number of my closest friends. But you know what? Absolutely none of them, to my knowledge, have trouble getting dates because they're too nice. Some of them have self-confidence issues, and some of them are just nerds surrounded by too few nerd-loving women, but niceness is definitely not what holds them back.)

Comments

[flwyd.livejournal.com]

A non-nice girl and a nice guy doesn't seem like a particularly good relationship option in general. It seems like there'd be a good chance the girl would use and then dump the guy, and then the complaint wouldn't be "why can't nice guys get dates?" but rather "why does everyone a nice guy dates suck?"

The solution, of course, is for life to be more like Amelie.

[vvvexation.livejournal.com]

and then the complaint wouldn't be "why can't nice guys get dates?" but rather "why does everyone a nice guy dates suck?"

And yet the reason would be the same. Funny, that.